By Coy Pink

This week while on vacation, Alec told me I was going to go into the hall of our hotel, almost completely naked, for pictures.  I thought he’d surely lost his mind.  I thought perhaps he was joking; he loves to tease me.  But, no, he was serious.  I balked, told him he was insane, but he persisted.  Alec is not one to push me to do things I don’t want to do so his insistence caught me a little off guard.  Most of me wanted to say, “heck no!” but the other part of me wanted to comply with his command.  I think I felt that if I completely defied him and said ”no way!” to going in the hall half-dressed, he might not be too keen on playing the dominant/submissive game with me in the future.  {I know for many people, D/s is a lifestyle.  We simply use D/s play to enhance our sex life.}

This situation got me thinking:  can I categorize myself as submissive when what I really want is to just submit to things that sound like fun to me?  I love it when Alec orders me around but I certainly enjoy it more when he instructs me to do something I find pleasurable.  I certainly was not pleased (though I was a bit amused) to be ordered to have my picture taken, half naked, in the hall of our hotel.  Maybe I’m really just a masochist with submissive tendencies.  I do love to be spanked, paddled, flogged, pinched, bitten, et cetera.  But I do not relish the idea of Alec ordering me to do things I might find humiliating or embarrassing.  Perhaps that is just the petulant child in me, flexing her will.  I want what I want as long as it serves me.  I’ll even do what you tell me to do as long as I feel like doing it.  But I want to retain the right to say no.  I want to be bossed around just as long as I still have complete veto power.

Then that leads into a whole other line of thinking.  Don’t people who act or behave as subs still possess the right to say no (whether by defiance or with a safe word)?  Perhaps saying no will garner them a punishment but isn’t that part of the fun?  And what about trust?  Shouldn’t a submissive person completely trust their dominant partner to have their best interests at heart?  I do trust Alec to have my best interests at heart.  So why do I find the idea of giving all control over to him a bit unsettling?  I think it might have something to do with how we use dominance and submission in our sex play.  We slip into these rolls as others might slip into a costume.  We try them on, have fun being in them for a while, but ultimately we go back to being ourselves, back to being equals.  Because it is not in our true nature for me to be submissive or Alec to be dominant, I think I find it more difficult to submit to him when he is suggesting I do something outside my comfort zone.  It is possible that in time we will both be more at ease trying out these new rolls and I will more readily accept orders from Alec that are not of my choosing.

It is interesting to me how introducing new elements to our sex play has me examining our everyday roles and how we relate to each other.  I’ve found myself surprised at my reactions to certain experiences and thoroughly enjoying our experimentation.  I also think that it doesn’t matter what I categorize myself as just so long as we’re both having fun.  I can be a selective submissive with masochistic tendencies who also likes to switch into a more dominant role every so often.  After all, why should I limit myself?

I love a man with a plan.  Spontaneity has its place but forethought is just as stimulating.  The confidence that a man exudes when he knows what he wants is a powerful aphrodisiac to a woman who wants to be led.

Alec has everything laid out for our evening.  The lube, butt plug, Hitachi Magic Wand, nipple clamps, and my lovely pink glass dildo are all within arm’s reach.  He’s obviously been pondering this encounter for a while.  He beckons me closer and picks up the nipple clamps.  He gently and lovingly attaches them to my nipples.  I breathe in sharply, anticipating the pinch.  The tension is adjusted properly and he leans over to give each nipple a quick kiss.  He then reaches for the lube and the butt plug.  We use the plug occasionally but not often.  He tells me he wants to work up to me being able to wear it in public, the same way I wear my Smart Balls.  Tonight is my first test.

“Once the plug is in, I’m going to send you on a little walk.”

He lubes me up, sets the plug on the mattress and says, “I want you to sit on it.”  My heart skips a beat.  His directness and commands are making me wet.  I kneel before him and start to slowly lower myself onto the plug.  He is kissing me all the while, no doubt enjoying my happy obedience.  After a minute or two of kissing and lowering myself onto the plug, it is in and I am ready for my next task.

“I want you to walk to the bottom stair, sit down, and put this on your clit,” he says to me, handing my a vibrator.

The main living area of our house is on the second floor.  He is asking me to walk, naked, clamped, and plugged, down a full flight of stairs, outside.  There is a chance that I could be seen but I willingly comply.

He shuts off the outside light, providing me with a cover of darkness, and opens the door for me.  I slowly descend the stairs, enjoying the cool night air on my skin.  At the bottom step, I sit.  This feels wonderful with the plug in.  I part my legs, turn on the vibrator, and place it on my clit.  I know he is above me, watching.  The thrill of possibly being noticed, the excitement of being bossed around, and the vibrations coursing through my pussy almost send me over the edge, right there on the step.  Then he calls me back up.

“Good girl,” he says.  I am weak in the knees from his words.  “Now what do you want as your reward?”

“A spanking, please,” I reply quietly.  For a moment it seems absurd to me to be asking for a spanking as my reward.  But a spanking is what I truly want and I know I will enjoy it.

He instructs me to bend over the ottoman.  This puts my ass at the perfect angle for him to rain down the swats.  Out comes my friend, the paddle.  The stinging blows are wonderful.  I love the pain.  I love the anticipation, never knowing when the next smack is coming.  I’ve been a good girl and now I’m getting my prize.

After the spanking, he leads me back to the mattress.  He picks up the glass dildo, slides it into my wet pussy, and hands me the Hitachi Magic Wand.  Time for the good girl to get her next reward. 

We work together.  Alec propelling the dildo in and out of my pussy, filling me.  Reaching up to pinch my already sensitive nipples, still in the clamps.  I run the Wand over my clit; sometimes barely touching my skin, other times pressing it in as far as I can take it.  I hold out as long as I can, enjoying every minute of these sensations.  Then I can no longer restrain myself from coming.  The waves of pleasure ripple through me.  I quickly move the Wand away, unable to tolerate its intense vibrations on my sensitive clit.  I let myself relax and Alec crawls up to kiss me.  I cling to him and let my body settle for a moment.  Then I look him in the eye and shift onto my side.  There will be no resting now; it’s time for his reward.

I sit up and remove the nipple clamps.  The pain of taking them off is worse than keeping them on.  I flinch at the pain but give myself over to the warm stinging.  Alec motions for me to climb up onto the ottoman.  I lay back and he pulls my feet to his chest as he stands above me.  He enters me and proceeds to give me a proper fucking.  The ottoman allows him to thrust so deep.  My head is thrown back in ecstasy as I savor the feeling of his cock sliding in and out of me.  I can feel my excitement starting to build again.  My arousal only serves to fuel Alec’s enjoyment.  He is pumping harder and faster now, making me cry out.  Then he stops, grabbing onto my thighs.  I can feel the pulse of him coming and I push my hips up to get closer to him.  I adore this moment.  The break from the frenzy, the change in his body and face.  For a few seconds he seems miles away.  Then his eyes open and he comes back to me.

He lays down on me and gives me a sweet kiss.  I love feeling his weight on me.  I tip my chin up to keep my lips near his.  What a different and exciting night this has been.  I feel it has been a journey.  He lead me to this place of perfect contentment.  And I, being his good girl, willingly followed.

When he pinched my nipples so hard and without letting up I thought, “He’s in charge tonight.”  The contrast between the pain of the pinches and the delicious pleasure of his finger on my clit was overwhelming.  He placed my feet upon his knee, giving him access to my ass.  I love it when he spanks me.  He spaces the spankings apart, heightening my anticipation.  Striking me just when I think he’s finished.  I melt under his hand, yielding to whatever it might be that he has in mind.

He knows just how to work me.  He licks his fingers and sinks them deep into me.  Rubbing in just the right places at just the right time.  He fingers me until I am wet then withdraws his hand and concentrates on my clit.  He’s driving me mad.  I want to come but I want him in me.  I wait, enjoying the pleasure, to see what he has planned.  Will he climb on top of me?  Will he order me to my knees and bring out the paddle?  I can feel my orgasm building but this isn’t how I want to come.  I can no longer be patient.  Time to switch things up.

I move his arm away, climb up, and push him down on his back.  It’s my turn to be in charge.  I love when he runs the show but tonight I am usurping his power.  I climb on top of him, my mouth on his, as he sinks deep into me.  I am so close that I know it won’t take much for me to come.  I keep him firmly pinned down as I ride myself closer and closer to the edge.  He lifts his face to mine and I push him back down with a firm kiss.  I am thrilling at having taken over, knowing he is enjoying the exchange of power and position as well.  I kiss him, stare into his eyes, moving faster.  Then I come.  This release has been building and is more than I anticipated.  I gasp, throw my head back, and give myself over to the delicious pleasure.  I am a woman possessed.  I want more and so I continue to ride him until he can no longer hold back.  I push my body to his as grips me tight.

I lay my head down on his shoulder and gently kiss his neck.  He runs his hand over my back.  I am completely satisfied and blissfully soak up this moment of quiet calm.  The night could have turned out just as fulfilling had I sunk deeper into the submissive role I so often enjoy in bed.  But for tonight, I’m glad I chose to grab hold of the reins and Switch things up.